Friday, April 29, 2016

Thank you, Alanis Morissette.

Alanis Morissette provided the soundtrack to my early teen years.

From her angsty power ballad, "You Outta Know", to "Ironic", and "One hand in my pocket", the album, Jagged Little Pill, was amazing.

You can't belt out, "I hope you're thinking of me when you fuck her," without feeling just a little badass.

After that album, she moved onto work that, although catchy, didn't necessarily resonate with my frame of mine. One of her songs, "Thank You", went right over my head. It was one of those tunes that I heard on autopilot and hummed along to, but didn't necessarily relate to, so I didn't seek it out.

After not hearing it since then, I listened to "Thank You" this morning and found it resonating with me in a way that it never has before. Every lyric had meaning and I understood. I'm in the place that she must have been when she wrote it, having moved past my angst and onto a sense of gratitude for my life.

I'm 32 and I've learned many lessons the hard way. I no longer default to the snap judgment and rash behavior of youth and have begun to really contemplate my own actions and failures.

How bout getting off of these antibiotics
How bout stopping eating when I'm full up
How bout them transparent dangling carrots
How bout that ever elusive "could have"

Not using things as crutches. Appreciating where you are in life. Not allowing the "could haves" to overtake your thought processes.

How bout me not blaming you for everything
How bout me enjoying the moment for once
How bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
How bout grieving it all one at a time

Taking responsibility for your own actions. Slowing down and enjoying life. Not holding onto grudges. Allowing yourself to grieve losses in a healthy way.

How bout no longer being masochistic
How bout remembering your divinity
How bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
How bout not equating death with stopping

Not being purposely self destructive. Remembering that you are the Universe. Unapologetically feeling and expressing your emotions. Contemplating life's lessons and the possibility of an afterlife.

The moment I let go of it
Was the moment I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it
Was the moment I touched down

I've learned to let go and let life steer sometimes. You can't always be in control of your situation, and you have to have enough faith in yourself to know that you can handle whatever is coming ahead. Let the reigns go. Let the excuses go. Let the resentments and hatred go. Allow yourself to be flawed and emotional and human.

And more importantly, through making this song, Alanis reached out to connect with the experiences of others. It is so important to know that you are never alone. Some people will be in the boat with you, rowing along and going through the same rapids. Let them hold your hand and together you can ride it out. Some people will be coming up on those same rapids. Be there for them, realize when they need a hand and be a source of comfort when they are ready for it. Some people will have already been there, learned those lessons and maybe even written songs about it. Listen to them with great comfort and know that you are on the path of human experience.

Thank you, Alanis Morissette for sharing this experience with those who are finally coming around this bend.

To those who don't click with this song yet, I'll be here when you're ready.

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