Saturday, December 6, 2014

Unconditional Love Challenge

When I was a kid, I loved The Mets.
I didn't know much about baseball, but I was drawn to the blue and orange of the uniforms and I fell hard. I collected figurines and trinkets and one such treasure was a little white bear with a hard plastic Mets flag that I remember so vividly, I can feel it's ridges and weight in my hand. I went to a game once with my aunt and uncle, and that day, despite what I've come to know as an adult to be a poor track record and impossible odds, they beat my uncle's favorite team, The Yankees. For the first time, I basked in the glory that was my favorite team winning.

And when they lost after that, and boy did they lose, I still loved them. I clung to that day, that one magical day, when they were fated to be unstoppable. I've since grown into other hobbies and lost interest in baseball, but despite my lack of current interest in or knowledge of the sport, I will go on record saying that my favorite baseball team is and always will be The Mets. Despite anything else they will ever do, they gave me that one day where I was The Mets and the Universe bowed to us.

I also love coconut. God. Mmmmm. How I love coconut. If I won the lottery, I would dive Scrooge McDuck style into a pile of shredded coconut and eat myself into a stupor. Those chocolate candies you hate; love them. LOVE. THEM. Hands down, favorite candies of all time. I buy those big boxes and ONLY eat the coconuts. As a matter of fact, I want to start some sort of organization where you can donate all your unwanted coconut candies to my luscious ass.

My friends do silly things sometimes, but I love them fiercely. I will GUT YOU if you cross my friends. If we are friends, I will love you no matter what you do, how you look, snot dripping down your nose, grinning like a damn fool, fat, thin, in between, undefinable, made up, natural, sweat pants, butt-assed naked, crazy (which suits me better anyway), sane, rich, poor, in person, on the computer, with kids, no kids, anything you can think of- If we are friends, we're friends and there is nothing in the world that would change that. Because a friend loves you. Period.

As people, we learn to love OTHERS unconditionally. If one of my kids needed somewhere to blow her nose and I didn't have a tissue, I would give her a sleeve, without hesistation (and if you said "Ewww" you aren't a parent, so come back in a few years and read this again). I would do anything for my kids. Even on their worst days, they are my favorite people and I am their number 1 fan. Just like The Mets. And just like coconut. I don't care if my opinions are unpopular, I love them and they are things that I love no matter what anyone else says to me. I love these things without condition.

And we all have our people and things that we love unconditionally. So why then, don't we love ourselves as much as fans love shitty sports teams? Or as much as you love your favorite food? We love and accept all the things around us automatically and we often forget to allow that love into ourselves. We deny unconditional acceptance from the person who is and should be most important. US.


We need to be able to accept and love ourselves just as we are. Sure, society gives us all sorts of messages, but they are advertising ploys. Just like watching a fast food commercial makes you crave a burger, when you see someone who looks/acts/holds themselves a certain way, you want to buy into that image. You crave to be like them. You want their lipstick shade. Those breasts. Those eyes. That intellect. You think about all the ways that you can shape yourself to be more like them and all the things you're not. But you need to concentrate on all the things you ARE. Just like the burgers don't look like they do in the pictures on the menu, the ideal beauty standard is glue for mayo. It might photograph well, but you can't eat that. What you want is a big juicy burger. Let yourself be real life delicious. Sink your teeth in and enjoy how good you taste.

So enough holding ourselves to unattainable goals and standards. No, I do not need to be thinner to start loving myself. I do not need to make more money, or go back to school, or botox wrinkles, or wear makeup, or put on a bra. I accept me NOW. Today. As I am.

Some people don't like The Mets. Or coconut candies. Or the people I'm friends with. Or my kids. Or my family members. Or anything that I like. But those are my things to love. MINE. And I don't care what anyone else thinks about them, because they mean everything to ME.

So I am making a promise. I will drop all of the conditions and love myself right now. I only get one self to love and I'm not spending another minute putting up walls and waiting to meet impossible goals before I'm lovable. I am lovable now. And so are you. Stop giving yourself conditional love.

I challenge you to take a breath right now, close your eyes and agree to love yourself without condition. Win or lose, you are amazing. Now feel the magic and let the Universe bow to you.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you. I often go down the street or look at magazines and say "need that" whether it be her but or her hair or that purse etc.. I also love chocolate coconut treats! Thanks for giving me permission to love myself, as I am right now.